The Roach Report
by HuntressSoul
Summary: Ever wondered what Ron would be like in the working world? The Houses Competition Round 1, Drabble.


**Team: Snakes**

**Subject: DADA**

**Category: Drabble**

**Prompt: Waking up with a Cockroach on your skin**

**Word Count: 791**

**A/N: I've always been curious about how Ron would compile a work report.**

* * *

_The Roach Report_

_I could feel the cool night breeze ruffling through my hair, still in the comfort of being half asleep, almost as if I was back at school skiving off classes. Dreaming this made it so much easier to fall asleep than to wake up to face the real world._

_With the thought of facing reality looming over my sleep curdled brain, I allowed myself to promptly fall back to sleep. I wasn't Harry or Hermione. I didn't over-analyze and assess situations or whatever the bloody hell they did. I went with the flow, blowing on the wind, followed the chips wherever they fell, and all that jazz_

_Hakuna Matata._

_The best bloody thing to come out of the muggle world if you ask me. I didn't really get the talking animals but Hermione swore it was a brilliant movie and she was right. The meerkat had the right idea._

_Snuggling into my sleeping bag I let a sigh pass my lips. I couldn't wait till I could get back into a real bed. This mission was becoming too monotonous for my liking._

_Even in my half-asleep state, I could feel my partner shifting about getting ready for the day._

"_Ron, mate. Wake up."_

_With a noncommittal grunt, I shifted away and swatted at the hands grabbing my shoulders._

_Groaning in frustration Harry surrendered._

"_Fine, be that way. I won't bail you out when your report needs to be handed in though," he said with a sigh._

_With a muffled 'thank you' in my best friend's direction, I fell back into the arms of my first love - sleep._

_I was having a pleasant enough dream filled with marvelous aromas, an all you can eat buffet, the best type of dream for someone like me when it happened._

_The most horrifying, most traumatizing event in all my career. I almost up and quit my job because of it and this is how it happened._

_I was sleeping on my back, my right arm covering my eyes to block out the rays coming through our tent when I felt it. A fast tingling running up my arm and into my hand, before it could reach my fingertips I clenched my fist and bolted up. With my hand in a fist, I could feel the tingling in my hand as it thrashed relentlessly against my curled fingers. By the time my brain had decided to wake up, my Auror trained body was already flinging the 'tingling' as hard as I could away from my body and then it landed with a crunch._

_The most disgusting unnaturally large brown flying monstrosity I had ever seen, 'The Roach' as I have come to dub it, was immortal. No matter the curses I threw at it, it would not die. Not even Hermione's bug spray put that thing down. _

_I came to the conclusion that morning that spiders were small fries because they actually died with bug spray. I had found a greater more realistic fear._

_Cockroaches._

_Thank Merlin for the small blessings that our mission came to an end that day. With the apprehension of our foe, can't go into to much detail on it though, confidentiality and all that but I will tell you this: It was single-handedly the most terrifying experience of my life and I'd take the rising of Voldermort...again over facing 'The Roach' in a heartbeat._

_Sincerely_

_Auror R Weasley._

"Auror Weasley, what exactly is this?"

The two young Aurors stood solemnly shoulder to shoulder for the briefest of seconds before Ron stepped forward.

"My report sir, I even added in there for your convenience that Harry didn't help, no plagiarism what so ever here, sir. He'd never go back on his word you see." Ron answered his superior seriously.

"I see…dismissed."

Turning around the two made to exit. Hesitating, Harry turned back to his superior.

"What is it mate?"

"Go ahead, Ron. I just need to get some clarification on something real quick," Harry answered, patting his friend on the back.

Shrugging it off, Ron told Harry to meet him in the Atrium when he was done.

"Sir if I may?"

"What is it, Auror Potter?" His superior sighed looking up through his hand to gaze at the young man with tired eyes.

"You're not really going to submit that report, are you?"

"Merlin, no! It makes no sense. I mean once you get past the atrocious penmanship the wording is just all over the place. You needn't worry about that Auror Potter. Your report will be sufficient."

"Thank you, sir," Harry said with a sigh of relief before allowing himself to be dismissed.

"One moment, Harry."

"Yes, sir?"

"What in the blazes is Hakuna Matata?"


End file.
